I get asked this a lot. I mean, obviously everyone knows that you have to see a recruiter (at least I hope, what? Did you think there was a Navy Fairy? There isn't...except that would be awesome) and then somehow you join?
Well, it is not that simple. First off, only about 30% of the population qualifies. You would be surprised what can take you off the list, but if you have it, they'll find it. I joined the summer after my junior year of High School because 1. I knew that was what I wanted to do and 2. They like you a helluva lot better if you're joining because you want to and not as a last resort.
Anyways, you see a recruiter and he/or she tries to convince you to join. I really feel for the recruiters because the ratio of people who they see to who actually joins is like 10,000,000 : 3. Yeah, a lot of people THINK it sounds like a good idea, and when they enter the office it totally SOUNDS awesome. Then when the recruiter calls them later to inquire further they say shit like "yeah, I don't think I'm doing that anymore". It's kind of depressing, in my opinion, but I bet it's rewarding when one of your Future Sailors finally makes it to basic.
The lines have blurred between me just seeing a recruiter and then signing the damn line. I started seeing a one in March of 2011 with one recruiter who would soon be leaving his post in Woodinville, I visited colleges in April, then in May I got a call from the new recruiter for NRS Woodinville who pretty much said "So, when's this going down?". I first went in to humour my father, who always told us the military as an option (he was in the Air Force during the tale end of Vietnam and my brother is in NROTC at the University of Rochester in upstate New York). Up until a certain point I was just going through the motions to please my dad.
I don't know (or can't remember) but the moment I was in the office again, I was joining the Navy. All my other plans were out the window. I wouldn't say it was divine intervention or I somehow had an ephiphany...I just realized for the past couple months I hadn't seen myself going to college. I was going to be a sailor, dammit!
So, after filling out all the necassary paperwork (which includes writing out your social secutiry number on EVERY. SINGLE. PAGE) and making sure I was going to graduate high school (surprise, I was!) you get to go to MEPS...Military Entrance Processing Station (not going to lie, I had no idea what that stood for until I just Googled it).
Let me break down the process of MEPS, because to this point (haha I leave for basic next week, so I'm sure it will change) it was one of the scariest, yet most awesome thing I have experienced. I don't think a lot of people realize that it is, in fact, a process. One that takes two days to complete.
MEPS: You have to go through hell before you get to heaven (yes, I just referenced lyrics to a Steve Miller song, my life is the late 70s, you'll learn soon enough. DEAL WITH IT)
First, you get picked up by your recruiter (or in my case, you meet at his office because I secretly think he is super lazy...just kidding, my recruiter is the bomb, you don't realize how much they drive around and have to schedule their day until you see them taking phone calls literally every 7 seconds. OS1 is a saint and a half) and then it's off to Seattle (or your respective MEPS location, I gotchu Des Moines Iowa, I gotchu). You end up way the hell down in the underbelly, or is that just my perception, since I'm a rich girl from the suburbs? Needless to say, I was terrified of what was happening. It probably didn't help that I mentioned to my recruiter that morning while we were going over procedure that I had a head inuries earlier that fall. Yeah...I sort of forgot. And, as I'm sure you'll find out soon enough, head injuries will be the bane of my entire recruiting process. So, as I was freaking out internally, my recruiter called another recruiter to go over questions with me again. I will never forget what he said, because in my moments of doubt (then, and since I joined) I think of them and know I have done the right thing.
"It's going to be nothing you ever experienced before, but you'll love every second of it".
I'm sure he says this to everyone, and probably doesn't recall this conversation, but I took those words to heart. Even with the self doubt I have been feeling the past 12 months, I know it's just because I fear the unknown.
Anyways, you get to MEPS and walk through a long (obviously goverment funded) building. It's quite amusing being in your cute civilian clothes next to a guy in his uniform, and you feel equally as badass when you KNOW that everyone else KNOWS that you're with him...and then you get pitying looks as well, because DAMN, you're about to sign five years of your life to water.
Most of the time is spent sitting in chairs watching TV. I discovered 1000 Ways to Die while waiting, because it sure is a hell of a lot better than continuing to make awkward eye contact with all the other people in the same boat (no pun intended, wait, YES IT WAS) as you. Actually, people are joining for all the branches, so some people may be in the same chair (haha CHAIR FORCE! YOU SUCK!) as you. The people at MEPS are pretty cool, I think they try to be a little intimdating (or I'm just easily intimidated) because I was figuratively shitting my pants. It doesn't help that all your personal belongings are in a locked room for the entire time, so no Facebook or friends (that's a novel wish) for me to bitch about my situation to. Nope, it's just you, other possible recruits, and Spike TV.
So what are you waiting for, you ask? Well, at this point you're going to take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Apptidude Battery- yes, I had to look that one up too. Thanks for asking, jerk!) which is basically a standardized test of vocabulary, math, and writing. It sounds easy, but I will tell you, it's so basic that you HAVE to study or you will be wondering "HOW THE HELL DO I DO LONG DIVISION?!" because I have relied on a graphing calculator to do that for years (not because I'm lazy, because trig has no time for long division and that shit is HARD). STUDY FOR THE ASVAB. Just do it and you'll feel better about yourself when you get an 85 on it and everyone else is in the 60s (not the decade this time).
Oh, but surprise you have to have your actual Social Security Card, and not a copy. I learned that lesson too late when they told me I couldn't take the test without it. By this time my recruiter was long gone, and I was about to cry. Perhaps it was a sign? I wasn't supposed to join the Navy, but go to college like all my friends. I was thinking this when they told me to go to the Navy Office in MEPS. I was going to go home and felt like shit, because I couldn't even get to the entrance test. However, that all changed when I entered the Office (which is the coolest one, the Air Force office looks like a cubical). I swear to god, three of the people there joined together so we could get ahold of my recruiter and TAKE THAT ASVAB! They were awesome, giving me great advice and encouragment. My recruiter made his way back to MEPS and we raced off to Bellevue to get a new card (later we found out there was an office literally down the street). Besides my recruiters obvious anxiety, and being confused for as his wife (that was weird) it went smoothly, and I got back to MEPS before the "last call" of people taking the test.
Now, the test itself is done on computers circa 2002. It's multiple choice and you get scratch paper. It's pretty simple and if you follow the directions you will be okay. You also are tested on other things besides the basics, but they don't count on the score, thank god, because I have no idea what a pulley is. But SURPRISE again, the Navy test also has you do this weird coding test. You have a list of number combinations and have to type them in and all this crazy shit. It's actually kind of fun, and I kick ass at it. Surprisingly, I wasn't the last person to finish at the end of the day, so I spent more time watching 1001 Ways to Die.
After the last person is done for the day, you get a piece of stapled paper with your score on it (but you aren't allowed to open it...yet) and you get on a bus for the hotel you're staying at. Finally, you can read your score. My heart was racing as I slowly unfolded the paper. 85, not bad. The sad, not-as-good-ever sibling part of me was maybe a little bummed since my brother got a 99 when he took it three years earlier. Still a top score, so I was okay.
I was not expecting the hotel to be next to the airport. As I realized where the bus was going, a part of me freaked out because I felt like I was leaving TODAY. But you arrive at a modest hotel with the rest of the MEPS gang and are led into a little office. There, an old guy told us the rules of the hotel and that we could go eat in the hotel restaurant off a set menu. I wasn't going to eat a lot, because I had to be under my weight (something I am currently dealing with again. damn). The food was decent, and so were the people. However, a lot of guys who I honestly think have a death wish the way they were talking. I'm joing for my future and shit, they were joining because they want to get blown up (I'm not kidding).
The nice part of the day was when you got to your hotel room. At first I thought I didn't have a roomate, but then a girl came in my room who was also interested in the Navy. She wasn't going to join but was just seeing how well she qualified. She was super sweet and we chatted easily while watching that Ever After movie with Drew Barrymore in it. At one point I went outside to call me mom telling her about my day. Then I called one of my friends, because I was on a weird adrenaline high from what I was doing...and none of my friends or anyone besides my immediate family knew what I was doing. She was like WHAT THE HELL, but still listened to me babble on. I was sitting out in front of the hotel for like an hour, and saw two guys from the group walking down the street (the next morning they told me they went to a party...uhm okay, I honestly can say they're idiots). Even though a lot of the people were just interested in joining, a good other part were leaving the next day...for basic training. This was their last night of freedom and civilian life, something I couln't comprehend.
I didn't sleep at all that night. I was way to nervous that I was going to make weight and that I might not qualify because of my previous injuries. Also, the fact that my whole life was possibly about to change. We got up at before it was light outside, ate breakfast, and took the bus ride back to MEPS. As the sun came up over the horizon, I felt a mix of emotions. I wasn't scared that i was going to do this, I was scared that I wouldn't qualify and all my expectations would lead to dissapointment. I have this fear of failure problem...I'm still working on that.
So, you get to MEPS and sit in that room again. Then, they get everyone together to go to what looks like a classroom. There, they go over everything and warn you that if you fail to disclose any information, you're basically screwed and they will eat off your face. You fill out litereally your entire medical history, and basically your entire history. Have you ever done drugs? Have you ever been to jail? Do you have any tickets you haven't paid off? Do you like midget porn? (That's a joke, I'm sure your midget porn collection is safe if you want to join the military). Obviously, all the questions were no, but I still was freaked out. You actually feel like you're a piece of shit because you had your tonsils removed when you were 7. After what seems like hours you leave that room (but not before you get a breathalizer test on the way out).
Next is the medical. I can honestly say this was the worst part and I hope I never have to experience it again (oh SHIT, good luck with that Tori, love future Tori). I was shaking so much that when my blood pressure was being taken, the guy told me to calm the hell down. It was scary because the doctors were either really nice or complete assholes...and you never really knew until it was too late. They test you for EVERYTHING. Eyes, ears, blood (someone before me squeezed the ball when they were taking the blood...yeah, you can imagine what happened).
There's a urnine test too, and unfourtanetely I have a shy bladder and really wasn't feeling peeing in a cup in front of a lab lady, and my fellow possible recruits (all female, I should add)...so they told me I could pee at the end. BIG MISTAKE. I had chugged some water thinking in twenty minutes I would have to pee, but I didn't. I didn't and wasn't aware that the next part of the medical would take 45 minutes. This is the best part of the test (I say that with sarcasm). You strip down to your underwear (stupid me wore a thong, another BIG MISTAKE) with all the other girls...so there were like five of us. I arrived late because I tried to pee again but still wasn't able to (my bladder absolutely explodes after I pee the first time though), and was rewarded by being accused by the medical lady of checking out the other girls because I just stood there like an idiot unsure if I was also supposed to take off my clothes too. FUN.
You get weighed and your entire body is examined for tattoos, scars, moles, and pretty much any other skin abnormality...so if you're self conscious about your body...GOOD FUCKING LUCK. You then are tested for agility, incuding a fun duck walk (again, when I say fun I mean you want to gouge out your brains). Next is my favorite part, the lower body check (and when I say lower body, I mean your vagina). I don't know, call me old fashioned, but something about an old asian guy who doesn't speak clear English getting a look at your genitals just isn't how I want to spend my afternoon. Luckily, I was cleared for herpes (thank god, I was worried) but by that time I REALLY had to pee, and having them push on your abdomonim almost made me into the human version of one of those toy pigs your squeeze so fake poop comes out.
I finally peed in the cup, and at long last, the medical test was over! Now, I was almost done (haha good one) with this crazy day. I waired outside the Navy Office in MEPS watching 1001 Ways to Die AGAIN until they called me in to talk about my actual enlistment. At this time my recruiter came around, and he totally hooked me up by getting my consultation earlier than others. The Navy guys remembered me and were like "Hell yeah, you got the Social Secutiry card!" and I was like "HELL YEAH BRAH!" except not at all, I probably said "Yep!".
I had gone into MEPS hoping to get a job as a mass communications specialist. My recruiter told me it might not be availible at the time, but I could get it in a couple months. The guy who was giving me my job options told me the same thing. So, I really was only supposed to sign for a job I was only semi interested in and would get a new contract in a couple months. I picked AC (Air Traffic Controller) because it sounded badass (that's how I choose all my life options). They told me to talk to my parents before I actually signed, so I went and called my dad and he was like "NO SHIT! That's what I wanted to be. That job makes so much bank in the civilian world". Cool. So, I signed *spoiler* I never switched jobs, somehow taking pictures and writing and mass communicating and shit just didn't sound so awesome anymore.
So, I'm sure you're like "WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END" at this point. I know, believe me, living it is 10x more longer than reading it. After signing for my job, I went to another little office where they take your fingerprints. And this is where shit gets intense. For the 100th time you have to sign saying that "No, I'm not a coke head, no I'm not hiding a criminal history, and NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY OUTSTANDING WARRANTS. GOD DAMMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT". Then, they ask you that in case of you death, you does your last paycheck go to and all your benefits. It wasn't depressing at all. After that, I went back to the Navy Office and signed permission and understanding for the FBI to do a background check on me...hoping and praying they wouldn't find the midget porn obsession, of course.
At some point I ate lunch. That was nice, I met some new friends who ate with me (couldn't tell you their names, so they probably weren't really friends). I was the only one who had actually joined at this point, so I felt just a little bit cooler.
Now, the time had come where you do the swearing in. My recruiter had told me multiple times "Don't lock your knees or you'll pass out". Pretty much all you do is stand in an intimate room with all the branch flags and you swear your life over. You also yell your branches yell thing, the Navy's being HOOYAHHHH! At the time, I wasn't into yelling so I got a lot of shit for that from the guy leading it. I was the only girl in there, and the only Navy person so I stood out.
FINALLY! I was in the Navy. I don't think I really comprehended it all too much. I went back to the Navy Office smiling like an idiot. I got my little backpack with my shirt, hat, water bottle, lanyard (NAVY SWAG BABY, NAVY SWAG) and Start Guide. Then my recruiter held up the flag behind me as my id picture was taken. Again, I was smiling like crazy and in that picture I look like a crazed serial killer. As we walke out of the office together, I took a look at all the other people sitting in chairs awaiting their fate. I felt smugly superior to them with my Navy backpack on and because I knew that I had the next five years of my life in sight.
On the car ride home, I was still in shock. I don't think it really set in at that point. My life had changed. I just remember my recruiter telling me a lot of things. He was reassuring me that I had made an awesome choice (duh, I always make awesome choices) and that if anyone told me different it was just because they fear the unknown.
I can really say that in my experiences from the past year, that rings true. I still am scared for this advenutre, but I at least have some idea what it is going to be. Almost everyone who hasn't directly experienced the miltary has NO idea. What seems like the obvious to me, is totally new information to everyone else. I find when people realize what actually goes down when you join the military, they become much more comfortable with the idea of it.
So, I ended July 6, 2011 taking a nap on the couch and then getting some Pho with my brother. It was a normal day, except for the fact that now I was in the Navy, and so my adventure would begin...
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| Yes, this is how it happens. |
Well, it is not that simple. First off, only about 30% of the population qualifies. You would be surprised what can take you off the list, but if you have it, they'll find it. I joined the summer after my junior year of High School because 1. I knew that was what I wanted to do and 2. They like you a helluva lot better if you're joining because you want to and not as a last resort.
Anyways, you see a recruiter and he/or she tries to convince you to join. I really feel for the recruiters because the ratio of people who they see to who actually joins is like 10,000,000 : 3. Yeah, a lot of people THINK it sounds like a good idea, and when they enter the office it totally SOUNDS awesome. Then when the recruiter calls them later to inquire further they say shit like "yeah, I don't think I'm doing that anymore". It's kind of depressing, in my opinion, but I bet it's rewarding when one of your Future Sailors finally makes it to basic.
The lines have blurred between me just seeing a recruiter and then signing the damn line. I started seeing a one in March of 2011 with one recruiter who would soon be leaving his post in Woodinville, I visited colleges in April, then in May I got a call from the new recruiter for NRS Woodinville who pretty much said "So, when's this going down?". I first went in to humour my father, who always told us the military as an option (he was in the Air Force during the tale end of Vietnam and my brother is in NROTC at the University of Rochester in upstate New York). Up until a certain point I was just going through the motions to please my dad.
I don't know (or can't remember) but the moment I was in the office again, I was joining the Navy. All my other plans were out the window. I wouldn't say it was divine intervention or I somehow had an ephiphany...I just realized for the past couple months I hadn't seen myself going to college. I was going to be a sailor, dammit!
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| Not Sailor MOON. I wish. |
So, after filling out all the necassary paperwork (which includes writing out your social secutiry number on EVERY. SINGLE. PAGE) and making sure I was going to graduate high school (surprise, I was!) you get to go to MEPS...Military Entrance Processing Station (not going to lie, I had no idea what that stood for until I just Googled it).
Let me break down the process of MEPS, because to this point (haha I leave for basic next week, so I'm sure it will change) it was one of the scariest, yet most awesome thing I have experienced. I don't think a lot of people realize that it is, in fact, a process. One that takes two days to complete.
MEPS: You have to go through hell before you get to heaven (yes, I just referenced lyrics to a Steve Miller song, my life is the late 70s, you'll learn soon enough. DEAL WITH IT)
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| "Everythings better when wet" also applies in the Navy. |
First, you get picked up by your recruiter (or in my case, you meet at his office because I secretly think he is super lazy...just kidding, my recruiter is the bomb, you don't realize how much they drive around and have to schedule their day until you see them taking phone calls literally every 7 seconds. OS1 is a saint and a half) and then it's off to Seattle (or your respective MEPS location, I gotchu Des Moines Iowa, I gotchu). You end up way the hell down in the underbelly, or is that just my perception, since I'm a rich girl from the suburbs? Needless to say, I was terrified of what was happening. It probably didn't help that I mentioned to my recruiter that morning while we were going over procedure that I had a head inuries earlier that fall. Yeah...I sort of forgot. And, as I'm sure you'll find out soon enough, head injuries will be the bane of my entire recruiting process. So, as I was freaking out internally, my recruiter called another recruiter to go over questions with me again. I will never forget what he said, because in my moments of doubt (then, and since I joined) I think of them and know I have done the right thing.
"It's going to be nothing you ever experienced before, but you'll love every second of it".
I'm sure he says this to everyone, and probably doesn't recall this conversation, but I took those words to heart. Even with the self doubt I have been feeling the past 12 months, I know it's just because I fear the unknown.
Anyways, you get to MEPS and walk through a long (obviously goverment funded) building. It's quite amusing being in your cute civilian clothes next to a guy in his uniform, and you feel equally as badass when you KNOW that everyone else KNOWS that you're with him...and then you get pitying looks as well, because DAMN, you're about to sign five years of your life to water.
Most of the time is spent sitting in chairs watching TV. I discovered 1000 Ways to Die while waiting, because it sure is a hell of a lot better than continuing to make awkward eye contact with all the other people in the same boat (no pun intended, wait, YES IT WAS) as you. Actually, people are joining for all the branches, so some people may be in the same chair (haha CHAIR FORCE! YOU SUCK!) as you. The people at MEPS are pretty cool, I think they try to be a little intimdating (or I'm just easily intimidated) because I was figuratively shitting my pants. It doesn't help that all your personal belongings are in a locked room for the entire time, so no Facebook or friends (that's a novel wish) for me to bitch about my situation to. Nope, it's just you, other possible recruits, and Spike TV.
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| And yes, getting stabbed by a giant DIE is on of those ways |
So what are you waiting for, you ask? Well, at this point you're going to take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Apptidude Battery- yes, I had to look that one up too. Thanks for asking, jerk!) which is basically a standardized test of vocabulary, math, and writing. It sounds easy, but I will tell you, it's so basic that you HAVE to study or you will be wondering "HOW THE HELL DO I DO LONG DIVISION?!" because I have relied on a graphing calculator to do that for years (not because I'm lazy, because trig has no time for long division and that shit is HARD). STUDY FOR THE ASVAB. Just do it and you'll feel better about yourself when you get an 85 on it and everyone else is in the 60s (not the decade this time).
Oh, but surprise you have to have your actual Social Security Card, and not a copy. I learned that lesson too late when they told me I couldn't take the test without it. By this time my recruiter was long gone, and I was about to cry. Perhaps it was a sign? I wasn't supposed to join the Navy, but go to college like all my friends. I was thinking this when they told me to go to the Navy Office in MEPS. I was going to go home and felt like shit, because I couldn't even get to the entrance test. However, that all changed when I entered the Office (which is the coolest one, the Air Force office looks like a cubical). I swear to god, three of the people there joined together so we could get ahold of my recruiter and TAKE THAT ASVAB! They were awesome, giving me great advice and encouragment. My recruiter made his way back to MEPS and we raced off to Bellevue to get a new card (later we found out there was an office literally down the street). Besides my recruiters obvious anxiety, and being confused for as his wife (that was weird) it went smoothly, and I got back to MEPS before the "last call" of people taking the test.
Now, the test itself is done on computers circa 2002. It's multiple choice and you get scratch paper. It's pretty simple and if you follow the directions you will be okay. You also are tested on other things besides the basics, but they don't count on the score, thank god, because I have no idea what a pulley is. But SURPRISE again, the Navy test also has you do this weird coding test. You have a list of number combinations and have to type them in and all this crazy shit. It's actually kind of fun, and I kick ass at it. Surprisingly, I wasn't the last person to finish at the end of the day, so I spent more time watching 1001 Ways to Die.
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| I could tell you the entire history of the British monarchy but I have NO IDEA what this means |
After the last person is done for the day, you get a piece of stapled paper with your score on it (but you aren't allowed to open it...yet) and you get on a bus for the hotel you're staying at. Finally, you can read your score. My heart was racing as I slowly unfolded the paper. 85, not bad. The sad, not-as-good-ever sibling part of me was maybe a little bummed since my brother got a 99 when he took it three years earlier. Still a top score, so I was okay.
I was not expecting the hotel to be next to the airport. As I realized where the bus was going, a part of me freaked out because I felt like I was leaving TODAY. But you arrive at a modest hotel with the rest of the MEPS gang and are led into a little office. There, an old guy told us the rules of the hotel and that we could go eat in the hotel restaurant off a set menu. I wasn't going to eat a lot, because I had to be under my weight (something I am currently dealing with again. damn). The food was decent, and so were the people. However, a lot of guys who I honestly think have a death wish the way they were talking. I'm joing for my future and shit, they were joining because they want to get blown up (I'm not kidding).
The nice part of the day was when you got to your hotel room. At first I thought I didn't have a roomate, but then a girl came in my room who was also interested in the Navy. She wasn't going to join but was just seeing how well she qualified. She was super sweet and we chatted easily while watching that Ever After movie with Drew Barrymore in it. At one point I went outside to call me mom telling her about my day. Then I called one of my friends, because I was on a weird adrenaline high from what I was doing...and none of my friends or anyone besides my immediate family knew what I was doing. She was like WHAT THE HELL, but still listened to me babble on. I was sitting out in front of the hotel for like an hour, and saw two guys from the group walking down the street (the next morning they told me they went to a party...uhm okay, I honestly can say they're idiots). Even though a lot of the people were just interested in joining, a good other part were leaving the next day...for basic training. This was their last night of freedom and civilian life, something I couln't comprehend.
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| Drew can comprehend it because she's a house servant. |
I didn't sleep at all that night. I was way to nervous that I was going to make weight and that I might not qualify because of my previous injuries. Also, the fact that my whole life was possibly about to change. We got up at before it was light outside, ate breakfast, and took the bus ride back to MEPS. As the sun came up over the horizon, I felt a mix of emotions. I wasn't scared that i was going to do this, I was scared that I wouldn't qualify and all my expectations would lead to dissapointment. I have this fear of failure problem...I'm still working on that.
So, you get to MEPS and sit in that room again. Then, they get everyone together to go to what looks like a classroom. There, they go over everything and warn you that if you fail to disclose any information, you're basically screwed and they will eat off your face. You fill out litereally your entire medical history, and basically your entire history. Have you ever done drugs? Have you ever been to jail? Do you have any tickets you haven't paid off? Do you like midget porn? (That's a joke, I'm sure your midget porn collection is safe if you want to join the military). Obviously, all the questions were no, but I still was freaked out. You actually feel like you're a piece of shit because you had your tonsils removed when you were 7. After what seems like hours you leave that room (but not before you get a breathalizer test on the way out).
Next is the medical. I can honestly say this was the worst part and I hope I never have to experience it again (oh SHIT, good luck with that Tori, love future Tori). I was shaking so much that when my blood pressure was being taken, the guy told me to calm the hell down. It was scary because the doctors were either really nice or complete assholes...and you never really knew until it was too late. They test you for EVERYTHING. Eyes, ears, blood (someone before me squeezed the ball when they were taking the blood...yeah, you can imagine what happened).
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| "THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE" |
There's a urnine test too, and unfourtanetely I have a shy bladder and really wasn't feeling peeing in a cup in front of a lab lady, and my fellow possible recruits (all female, I should add)...so they told me I could pee at the end. BIG MISTAKE. I had chugged some water thinking in twenty minutes I would have to pee, but I didn't. I didn't and wasn't aware that the next part of the medical would take 45 minutes. This is the best part of the test (I say that with sarcasm). You strip down to your underwear (stupid me wore a thong, another BIG MISTAKE) with all the other girls...so there were like five of us. I arrived late because I tried to pee again but still wasn't able to (my bladder absolutely explodes after I pee the first time though), and was rewarded by being accused by the medical lady of checking out the other girls because I just stood there like an idiot unsure if I was also supposed to take off my clothes too. FUN.
You get weighed and your entire body is examined for tattoos, scars, moles, and pretty much any other skin abnormality...so if you're self conscious about your body...GOOD FUCKING LUCK. You then are tested for agility, incuding a fun duck walk (again, when I say fun I mean you want to gouge out your brains). Next is my favorite part, the lower body check (and when I say lower body, I mean your vagina). I don't know, call me old fashioned, but something about an old asian guy who doesn't speak clear English getting a look at your genitals just isn't how I want to spend my afternoon. Luckily, I was cleared for herpes (thank god, I was worried) but by that time I REALLY had to pee, and having them push on your abdomonim almost made me into the human version of one of those toy pigs your squeeze so fake poop comes out.
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| I can stress enough that I just had to pee. |
I finally peed in the cup, and at long last, the medical test was over! Now, I was almost done (haha good one) with this crazy day. I waired outside the Navy Office in MEPS watching 1001 Ways to Die AGAIN until they called me in to talk about my actual enlistment. At this time my recruiter came around, and he totally hooked me up by getting my consultation earlier than others. The Navy guys remembered me and were like "Hell yeah, you got the Social Secutiry card!" and I was like "HELL YEAH BRAH!" except not at all, I probably said "Yep!".
I had gone into MEPS hoping to get a job as a mass communications specialist. My recruiter told me it might not be availible at the time, but I could get it in a couple months. The guy who was giving me my job options told me the same thing. So, I really was only supposed to sign for a job I was only semi interested in and would get a new contract in a couple months. I picked AC (Air Traffic Controller) because it sounded badass (that's how I choose all my life options). They told me to talk to my parents before I actually signed, so I went and called my dad and he was like "NO SHIT! That's what I wanted to be. That job makes so much bank in the civilian world". Cool. So, I signed *spoiler* I never switched jobs, somehow taking pictures and writing and mass communicating and shit just didn't sound so awesome anymore.
So, I'm sure you're like "WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END" at this point. I know, believe me, living it is 10x more longer than reading it. After signing for my job, I went to another little office where they take your fingerprints. And this is where shit gets intense. For the 100th time you have to sign saying that "No, I'm not a coke head, no I'm not hiding a criminal history, and NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY OUTSTANDING WARRANTS. GOD DAMMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT". Then, they ask you that in case of you death, you does your last paycheck go to and all your benefits. It wasn't depressing at all. After that, I went back to the Navy Office and signed permission and understanding for the FBI to do a background check on me...hoping and praying they wouldn't find the midget porn obsession, of course.
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| "No, I swear it's just an episode of Game of Thrones...REALLY IT IS!" |
At some point I ate lunch. That was nice, I met some new friends who ate with me (couldn't tell you their names, so they probably weren't really friends). I was the only one who had actually joined at this point, so I felt just a little bit cooler.
Now, the time had come where you do the swearing in. My recruiter had told me multiple times "Don't lock your knees or you'll pass out". Pretty much all you do is stand in an intimate room with all the branch flags and you swear your life over. You also yell your branches yell thing, the Navy's being HOOYAHHHH! At the time, I wasn't into yelling so I got a lot of shit for that from the guy leading it. I was the only girl in there, and the only Navy person so I stood out.
FINALLY! I was in the Navy. I don't think I really comprehended it all too much. I went back to the Navy Office smiling like an idiot. I got my little backpack with my shirt, hat, water bottle, lanyard (NAVY SWAG BABY, NAVY SWAG) and Start Guide. Then my recruiter held up the flag behind me as my id picture was taken. Again, I was smiling like crazy and in that picture I look like a crazed serial killer. As we walke out of the office together, I took a look at all the other people sitting in chairs awaiting their fate. I felt smugly superior to them with my Navy backpack on and because I knew that I had the next five years of my life in sight.
On the car ride home, I was still in shock. I don't think it really set in at that point. My life had changed. I just remember my recruiter telling me a lot of things. He was reassuring me that I had made an awesome choice (duh, I always make awesome choices) and that if anyone told me different it was just because they fear the unknown.
I can really say that in my experiences from the past year, that rings true. I still am scared for this advenutre, but I at least have some idea what it is going to be. Almost everyone who hasn't directly experienced the miltary has NO idea. What seems like the obvious to me, is totally new information to everyone else. I find when people realize what actually goes down when you join the military, they become much more comfortable with the idea of it.
So, I ended July 6, 2011 taking a nap on the couch and then getting some Pho with my brother. It was a normal day, except for the fact that now I was in the Navy, and so my adventure would begin...
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| I still would have joined JUST for that shirt. It's the most comfortable shirt you will ever wear. |
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